T'is Me

Aside - Why have I decided to do a site?

I hope by going public and putting down here my successes and failures  I will suceed.

Who am I, just a 55 year oldie who is stuck at home.

I have never been a good manager, I spend to the limit but this does mean if I have £20 to buy a weeks food I will manage to buy enough to eat well with it but also means if I have £100 to buy a weeks food I will spend that on food.  I have never been a saver, to me having food in means more than money in the bank.  Blame my childhood we always had empty cupboards at end of day and had to go and buy next day - Dad gave Mum house keeping daily.  

So all this has meant we bob along until some bill appears and hey pesto I am in debt.  No more this has got to stop.  

I cannot go out to work ( how I wish I could) as I am stuck in bed a lot of the time thanks to darling Fibromyalgia.  

There are days I cannot get downstairs - I spend most of my time sitting in or on top of my bed, using a laptop on an over bed table.  Sitting on an ordinary chair or couch hurts to much.  I have now bought a Teasmade as there were days hubby would be out at work and I would be stuck upstairs unable to make myself a hot drink.

So  when I feel able I have to do what I can, which can be cooking - usually I always cook twice as much as needed so one for that day and one for freezer so when bad all the meal needs is to be heated up.

I up till now have received Incapacity benefit and as hubby is only working Part-Time ( his firm is trying to survive) was overtime when he can get it, my money has helped to keep us afloat.  Now the dreaded ESA form has arrived and from what I have heard it seems chances are I will not get it.  I asked my doctor about my chances of working again and she told me basically nill, she cannot say fully as of course there is always a chance a miracle will happen and either I go into remission and am well again or they find the cause and then a cure for it.

On good days - for me a good day is being able to get downstairs and do some cooking and maybe as well get into garden to sit - I have someone I pay to dig the garden, cut the grass, plant my vegetables I have just started growing, money I cannot really afford but hoping once garden is set up with no dig beds I will be able to get out there at least once a week to remove odd weeds and so he will just cut grass and hedges when needed.  I do not go out and socialise, that is a thing of the past, I find it hard even to get to doctors and hospital appointments.

So if I lose my benefit we will have a very small amount live on as hubby is only on a few pence more than minimum wage and after house and council tax paid we will only have £25 left for everything else ( Gas;Electic;Water;TVL;Internet;Phone;Petrol;Car Ins;House Ins etc ( obviously if this does happen a lot of these things will go, but I hope to try and keep internet as all my friends like in it) as well as food of course) unless he has some over-time.  Even a full war time rationed amount might be beyond our means, but if I can grow some fruit and vegetables I hope to be able to produce at least one meal a day.  I know many, many people are in that situation now and many more will join them in the next year as more and more businesses fail.  We are, we have been told, actually entitled to Council Benefits but our local council has refused our application as hubby's earnings are never usually the same more than 3 weeks and they want 5 weeks all the same, but he cannot afford to turn down overtime for this as if he does his firm will not offer it to him again so we pay everything in full.  We do get a tiny amount of WTC but I have to pay for my prescriptions ( and I get a lot so buy a prepay certificate) and we pay for our dental treatment although are lucky that we do have an NHS Dentist.